listening to Chrisette

I listen to the voice of Chrisette Michele and
I notice my mind travels almost instantaneously
to the college memory when I first learned of
this enchanting voice. I wonder how she’s been
progressing in her career. I also think about
the way I would wrap myself in blankets in
the loft above my desk/book shelf/dresser,
hypothesizing when I would be able to experience
the moments of affection she described as I
stared at the television screen captivated by
the notes of her gracious voice for the first
time in 2008; eventually thoughts of breakfast
in the proceeding hours cluttered the experience.

Maybe that memory is so fond since the fall of
2007 contained a disappointing realization;
whether hiding behind a façade of singledom or
smothering notions of monogamy, relationships can
be as varied, complex, perhaps troublesome, and
beautiful as snowflakes falling from a winter sky.
There was an instance of sitting on a bed after
showering, stimulating and pondering why a person
would have such a massive living quarters so I
had asked, “You have any roommates or do you
naturally require an abundance of space?” With
nonchalance and haste, I was told, “Well, I have
a boyfriend. I thought I told you.” No recollection
of these details was made since none, in fact, were
disclosed and upon hearing this update, loneliness
led to perceiving the time spent as time wasted.

But is wasting time an act, which seems to fill
contemporary diction on an abusive level, worthy
of claiming if everything happens for a reason and
lessons are extracted from every conversation?

[originally written December 2011]


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